ONLY PARENTS UNDERSTAND:
A True Story just found in a newly translated Dead Sea Scroll:
Alas and verily God was tired of hearing and having to answer so many prayers that he took a few weeks off to rest.
The faithful of the nearby village became troubled when their prayers were no longer answered and went to the clergy and did say with great clamor: “What gives?”
The clergy themselves knew not what gave and so decided to mount an expedition up to the highest mountain to try and speak with God. After a long and weary travel they arrived at Pearly Gates guarded by God’s personal assistant. The assistant was most troubled as these dudes didn’t have an appointment. But they prevailed and wailed until at last, his compassion compelled him to bring them before God.
They shuffled humbly into the magnificent chamber of God and spoke of the troubles of the faithful who stated that their prayers were going unanswered.
God fixed them with a cool gaze and said “As impossible as it may seem, I grow weary.”
The followers looked amongst themselves and then bravely, but stupidly, did one of them raise their hand.
With an exhausted tilt of his head God bid the man to speak.
“Oh lord, I believe I speak for the rest of us when I say, but it must be easy for you, you’re omnipotent, you’re God!”
God looked over at the small group and said “Your statement is as foolish as it is blind. But, you must learn from the errors of your assumptions.”
God then asked them to line up in sequence of which man thought he was the smartest, most faithful and all around best suited to be God for five years and then the 10 of them stood in sequence before Him.
With a snap of his finger he miraculously gave each of them a new child for their number in line with the smartest and most faithful and first in line getting 10 children and the last in line receiving 1 child. With another snap they were all magically transported back to their village.
Five years later God checked in on each one of them, starting with the man with one child and he found them all in various states of exhaustion but thankfulness for having taught them such a valuable lesson in life.
By the time he had reached the man with 9 children the man was almost worked to death, the house was nearly destroyed, all the children were fighting amongst themselves and the man fell to his knees upon the appearance of God and told Him that he couldn’t possibly imagine what it must be like to have as many children as God did.
God smiled and was pleased that they seemed to have learned their lesson. He then went searching for the last man, not certain if he was alive or dead from exhaustion.
God arrived to the house of the smartest and most faithful man whom he had given the most children to and knocked. He opened the door and the man opened the door and beckoned the Creator inside. The house was in perfect order, the children were all busily engaged throughout the house and everyone seemed quite content and happy.
God was amazed as he looked around at the peace and order. The man invited God to sit down at the table and share a drink with him.
“God, after careful study of the challenge you laid before me for the last five years, I think I have a solution to your problems.”
“Really? And what would that be.”
“You sir, need a wife.”
Apple Keyboard Nomination
I would like to nominate Apple’s placement of the disc tray eject key being directly above the delete key as the worst placement of a keyboard key in keyboard design history.
Graco Duo Strollers are awesome…
With our second daughter arriving in October, I’ve been on the hunt for a double stroller.
After checking about 20 different strollers I settled on the Graco Quattro Tour Duo.
Part spaceship, part baby stroller. They got the size, weight, price and color scheme perfect for what I’m looking for when cruising with my little ladies.
I’ll have a video up on my youtube page shortly to show it off, but in the meantime for anyone who is looking for a double stroller, you really should check out the Graco line.
DSW
Losers
When a loser loses, they blame everyone but themselves for the reasons that they failed.
When a winner loses, they work themselves harder until they win again.
A Naked Fatherhood Moment
It’s early in the morning. The 18 month old daughter is nowhere to be seen and neither is any underwear since its all in the washer downstairs. But you figure the coast is all clear for the first naked dash from bedroom to bathroom since the baby has been born.
You look both ways, take a deep breath and leap towards the open bathroom door just 10 feet away. The cool morning air whistling through the nether regions as you prance across the slippery wooden floor resembling some strange beast half graceful like a pregnant gazelle and half graceless like a body builder trying to manage a ballet tippy toe thingy.
Just as you are about to round the corner into the shower, you see that in the bathroom mirror reflected from the mirror on the closet door that is in turn reflecting on another mirror hanging on the wall, that there, off in the once unseen distance in the far room is your 18 month daughter looking at you and pointing her index finger with a puzzled expression on her face as you stand there in a macrocosmic moment of frozen shock.
Time freezes…
And then coming through loud and clear in the crisp morning air are her now immortalized words: “BANANA!!!!!”
I think we’ve both been scarred for life.
Why Steve Jobs is wrong about Adobe, what’s wrong with Mac in general and why “switching ” might not be a good idea.
This article is intended for serious creative professionals and not just an iPhone or iPad user. It’s meant for people whose livelihood depend on how their professional systems perform.
As a working creative professional I count myself as educated enough in the matters of “HOW THINGS GET DONE” to be able to ignore the idiotic “big-d*ckery” mud-slinging that goes on between Mac vs PC vs Adobe vs whatever. Very few FULL TIME PROFESSIONALS that I know have the time or money to be fanboys of any one electronic clique. We have to go with what works and allows us to do what we need to do. That being said, a number of my friends have found Macs to work for them and are dedicated Mac fanatics.
IMPORTANT NOTE: YOU CAN SKIP THE PRE-AMBLE AND GO TO THE SHORT VERSION BY SCROLLING DOWN TO THE BOLD SECTION BELOW.
Is it just me?
I’ve recently switched from PC to Mac due to workflow requirements. In other words, I had to do it to continue creating content for certain clients.
And now, one, amongst many questions I have:
Is it just me or does Office for Mac totally suck?
Stupid people should be banned from the internet
And by that I mean RUDE, STUPID, THOUGHTLESS haters. Because hey, even I can be stupid at times.
At least there should be a stupidity ban you can put up on your blog or vlog.
Why do I say this?
Here’s a youtube comment I just got from a 26 year old woman whose only video is on how long her hair grew in one month. Note that my video was on how to change a baby diaper when my daughter was 3 months old.
Her comment:
“Can I hit your baby?”
My reply:
I think any father reacting irrationally to your comment would say “Sure, as long as you don’t mind me putting your fist in a vegetable blender.” However I’ll go on the assumption that you really didn’t mean what you just said.
Maybe I over-reacted to what could’ve been a typo…BUT THIS IS FROM A WOMAN WHO IS 26 YEARS OLD FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!!
Putting your baby on a schedule
Now from your experience does putting your baby to a schedule help in the future?
If it does what kind of schedules worked for u and does it stay the same as she grows up? I have only a bedtime schedule where she sleeps around 9:30 to 10. Do u think that’s a good time
I do it on her demands so I think am doing the best I can just wanna do a much better job.
Fussy Children and Temper Tantrums
To tell u the truth instead of learning from my baby I am getting more scared of the way she is growing up. She became very active and she doesn’t let me do a thing. I have to hold her or be with her in the same room. I’ve heard that too much stimulation spoils them. What do u think?
People keep telling me to leave her to fuss then she will get use to it but I cant.
Cry it out method of sleep training.
I don’t agree on CIO method, friends say it works but I think that’s just too horrible; any way I just want your opinion on that.
Ultrasound of Baby #2 who is arriving in October! Best father’s day ever #2!!!!
